Why does evan turner talk funny

As far as I can tell, he has no visible moles on his back, and very few stray hairs sprouting out of his nips. He also has a girlfriend and dog who looks like this Ev's having a rough time these days. When Evan does play four minutes in Game 3 , he seems to do so with his testicles firmly implanted in his own anus, a strategy unseen since the great Keith Van Horn slung 'em up for the Washington Mystics. Fans and media all over the country have been yucking it up at ET's expense.

On the cusp of free agency, Ev is struggling to prove he's any more valuable than the teammates he's fighting for playing time with: perennial journeymen Rasual Butler Christian Street Y represent reprezent-zent and C. Watson not good at basketball. As of now, it seems like the Sixers might've gotten the better end of their deal with Indiana, flipping Turner and a guy whose Twitter handle is chefVOYardee for a 2nd round pick, and a man who refused to play basketball for their team.

Is Turner really this bad? The short answer is yes. He's always been worthless. But he was also sort of dope for like five minutes. Not dope. That's not the right word. But "not horrible"? Is that closer? I mean, yeah, sometimes he'd shoot the ball directly off the backboard, but he'd also sometimes rebound his own miss, and then put the ball back up, get his shot blocked by around three different guys, then throw up his hands at the ref and complain How could Evan have gone from a potential all-star dude was averaging 17 and 6 when we traded him to Michael Beasley 2.

Is he just a total bozo? And can you really feel sorry for a bozo? I honestly have no clue. To this day, after 37 years on this earth, I do not know what any of the rules of this world are. I'm just a lowly blogger who needed an idea for this week's post and literally just dropped half a tuna salad sandwich on his keyboard while he was trying to write. But Evan Turner is a total enigma. And there is seriously tuna everywhere.

While I clean this up, it's important to realize that in order to truly understand ET, you have to take a long, cold, hard look into his dark past. Pretty sure he's wearing wrapping paper here.

This led to the little fella developing severe breathing problems that required the removal of his adenoids and tonsils. Yeah, I know, adenoids aren't a thing. And yet Evan had to have them removed. Baby Evan Turner had something sliced out of his throat that doesn't even exist. Not the best way to start off life. It was probably more fun watching the lefty score on other players last season, but Turner actually defended his good friend pretty well, despite Thomas' point, six-assist, six-turnover night.

It's still 41 in the books but it looked like a pointer, you know what I'm saying. He's talented and the dude does a lot, especially for his height and size, you can't give him enough credit for his change of speed. You mix that in with how Brad draws up plays, you could be in for a long night. Thomas didn't think his 41 points felt like He said, 'Yeah, I held you to It wasn't funny then, but he's one of my close friends.

It was good to see him out there. I just wish we got the win. Midway through the fourth quarter, Turner actually drew a technical foul for inadvertently striking Jae Crowder with a forearm. Crowder shouldn't stay too mad because Turner actually brought him designer sunglasses from Philadelphia as a gift. Where you'd get that from?

I was in Philadelphia with my glasses guy and I thought about my dude Jae, he loves glasses and stuff like that. So I Facetimed him. I let him choose his options, gave him a little plug. And he's going to be looking fly as usual. That's how you're supposed to do it. Turner has started to fit in better with the Blazers after a rough start to the season, but still misses parts of what he had in Boston. Throughout his two years with the Celtics, fans developed a deep appreciation for his personality off the court and versatility on it.

I think that's one thing I really recognized. Not saying we don't here, but just in the locker room, the locker room feels kind of rare. I definitely appreciated that the most. And playing at the Garden was dope. Putting on the jersey was definitely dope.

You don't take it for granted. This isn't like a normal franchise. Sell-outs and all that stuff, you don't take that for granted. I definitely miss that experience.

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Community Rules apply to all content you upload or otherwise submit to this site. Ad Choices. Making a spot start in place of injured Avery Bradley this past Monday night, Turner posted his first double-double of the season during Boston's triumph. This time Turner arrived for his media chores wearing a throwback Coogi sweater. That was Biggie in Brooklyn in a Coogi sweater. Did you see my outfit? I was freshness," said Turner.

If you think about it, I'm really doing it -- for real, for real. I be fresh as s, when it comes down to it. Like a Coogi sweater is crazy! He deadpanned that he'd make himself the logo. A Reddit user ran with the idea and posted a picture of Turner celebrating a 3-pointer -- hilarious, in and of itself, because Turner is a career Teammate Amir Johnson immediately requested an order and has been spotted wearing a "limited edition" green-and-gold shirt before games.

That's who he is. He's a hell of a guy. And that's why I like him. Turner jokes that the Celtics' support staff loved the shirts, but teammates other than Johnson were slow to come around.

NBA players don't," Turner joked. Turner's path to this point is well-documented. He helped Philly to a couple of playoff appearances, but he never quite lived up to his draft status. In , he was traded to Indiana and had a forgettable late-season stint with the Pacers. During a season full of roster change, Turner might have been Boston's MVP, doing a little bit of everything especially serving as a primarily ball handler after Rajon Rondo was traded and helped Boston surge to a surprise playoff berth.

Turner is one of the only players on the Celtics' roster who can get to the basket off the dribble. Yes, his methods of getting there can be harrowing, filled with haphazard behind-the-back dribbles and herky-jerky motions, but it works. For the season, Turner is averaging 9. Stevens often leans heavy on Turner, particularly when there have been injuries to Boston's backcourt. The Celtics' advanced numbers reflect positively on Turner, particularly the team's defensive numbers when he's on the floor: Boston's defensive rating is a mere What's more, Turner -- not afraid of the big moment -- is one of the few guys the Celtics can lean on in crunch-time situations.

He likes being a part of them, making plays in them. He's kind of that reliable guy in that regard, when things aren't going your way all the time, he really loves basketball and he usually does good things to give you a chance.